A List of Beers I'll Never Drink

The party's makeshift ashtray bottle;
A roofied brew meant for you;
The last one in your refrigerator;
Chewable stouts darker than our pasts combined;
The one I cracked when this seemed like a good idea;
The rest of the one I threw at her living room wall;
The ones you owe me;
Anything with a widget at the bottom;
Anything with too much head (as such a thing exists);
Anything to celebrate a kid on the way inside someone I still love;
And Coors Light.