Jacob was a sissy, he only took on one

maybe it's just the lighting
that makes you look
like a total bitch
in that new picture you're so proud of,
or maybe it's that I know now
what he's in for
what THEY'RE in for--
and that it ain't worth it.

we should've had the lifespan of
a carnival goldfish
or maybe even
fireflies in a mason jar
but instead you tried to stick me in hell.
you came back to check up on me
and saw me sprawled out
with my hands folded behind my head
and a surprisingly cold bottle of suds
between my grinning teeth
so you stormed back out,
slamming the doors behind you.

well
stay the hell out of hell this time,
darling,
'cause really it ain't that bad
and unlike YOU ever were--
it's MINE.
you aimed for water over my dam
but only got it under my bridge
and I'd say I don't give a rat's ass
but I never understood that saying.

I've wrestled a few Angels
in my time,
honey,
and believe me:
you weren't one of 'em.