4.20.2008

On writ-

Yeah, but we need more whiskey.
What do you mean there's no C.C.?
Seagram's will do.
This is stronger than five dollars-worth.
They must know.
Be right back, I have to go say Hello.
If I'm not back in ten
write it for me.
Ten went by, and four did, too.
Masters? Me too, in Life.
I bought four so we can double-fist
for the main event. They're opening strong
so I'll piss during the follow-up that no one knows.
This doesn't matter, your bobbing and weaving
in the crowd with my rum-and-coke.
He rubs my shoulders during the chorus
and thanks me for the refill.
She doesn't matter because She does.
It's all come full circle as I light up
the rebel cigarette and think back
to how it was
how it could've been.
The kids don't know
they aren't alright
But I will be now.
He punches me in the ribs
as I take my hat off and rub
the sweat from my brow.
A leg hits me in the head
and I almost spill my cocktail, she saves
hers as she falls to the floor
and I help her up.
I go for a strategic piss during another one
no one cares about.
When I return it's the last, he grabs my arm
and we sing again. They walk off the stage
and we chant for an encore.
The next four mean more.
I go to the center and hurt
the kids trying to crowd surf.
Not totally intentionally, mind you.
I find a wallet on the floor that I'll return
to the proper authorities later.
This means more right now.
I'm OK and I'm sweating and my neck hurts
because I'm too old for this shit
but he has the same amp as me
and he's playing all the right songs
and she's disappeared from my sight
as much as she has from my heart.
I know it this time.
I've found it again
among the roots somewhere
in western New York.
They finish and I stomp out my second
secret cigarette and find my ride.
We bitch about our battlescars
and sing the band's praises.
We're young again, celebrating
second chances.
I say goodbye at some point
but think more of how much
I can't wait to say Hello
again to the one who's
managed to rupture the balloon
and save its captive.
The ride home is mostly silent
as I smoke cigarettes and think
of how lucky I may be
if all goes as planned.
(It wasn't what you think
but it doesn't matter now.
Let's finish growing up.)

-ing Chapter Five.



Currently reading:
"Screams from the Balcony: Selected Letters 1960-1970" by Charles Bukowski.

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