I am a federal employee.
I've taken a civil service exam.
I fund my own wage with the taxes I pay
contradicting myself as much as the next.

I know when they put their mail on hold.
I know when their boxes are full of bills.
I know when they're away on vacation
and I burglarize their homes with friends for fun.

I am a federal employee
and I've got one hell of a pension accrued.

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