Slowly Going the Way of the Pipe

I closely resembled a South American druglord.
The brown aviators, slicked-to-the-side hair
neatly trimmed beard, and rolled-cuff white buttown-down
worn recklessly four days prior to Memorial Day
made the comparison undeniable. The top few buttons
had been left undone, revealing a black T-shirt underneath.
My fellow graduating apprentices would chime right in
with the predictable Spic jokes which I more than welcomed.
It had become my identity within the group, it was better
to have one than not. Besides, I was on a mission to
change the stereotype through positive representation.
It was a role I embraced with open, olive-skinned arms.

I'd called my mother before leaving for the graduation dinner
asking where my old assortment of ties were hidden. It'd been
eight years since I'd worn some of them as a weekly requirement
for a criminal justice class I took in high school. I knew
that my stepfather had hijacked them, one hostage
at a time, whenever he needed to spiff up for an event.
On more than one occasion I'd had to tie the damn thing for him
the crude, thick-fingered construction worker that he is.
I didn't mind. It gave a kid an edge over a man three times his age.

My mom's house was only a mile from where the dinner ceremony
was being held. I could easily swing by and complete the get-up
with one of my old ties, loosely done of course. The effect would
be worth the process of rummaging through a bedroom closet.
Suddenly, however, it dawned on me: it'd been so long
that I'd forgotten how to tie the customary half windsor knot.
I could've looked it up on the internet as I had originally
due to the lack of a real father figure, but that would be a farce.
In my years away from the realm of formal attire I'd lost
the bit of knowledge that separated men from boys.
That was it-- I'd officially become blue collar.

"Congratulations," I told myself in the rear-view mirror.
A Latino cartel leader regrettably content
with his place in life smiled back
the points of his white collar flapping in the breeze.