3.05.2008

dead men tell tales, alright.

i'm almost done with "twenty thousand leagues under the sea" by ya' boy jules verne and i've come to a disheartening discovery: captain nemo and company don't actually chill hard as hell twenty g's under the surface of the ocean, they just happen to travel that distance while under the fucking water most of the time. not even all the time, most! what a let-down. you'd think the dude that wrote "journey to the center of the earth" would have the balls to pretend that part of the sea is in fact twenty thousand leagues deep, which is a pretty long fuckin' way, even though i can't honestly tell you how far a league actually is (but a fathom is six feet!). i really don't think i'm expecting too much here. i asked jello what he thought the title meant while grillin' face at the chinese buffet tonight and he made the same assumption that i did, so i'm obviously right in my analysis of the situation. jules verne, you are a deceptive little frenchman and i'm glad you made a hypocrite of yourself and tarnished the glory of your early career by renouncing scientific advancement and technology in your latter years. fuck this science fiction nonsense, i'm sticking to what i know and love: oprah's book club novels!

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