a fellow stray

There was a dog roaming the neighborhood--
some mutt, mostly yellow lab--
who ravaged garbage cans left and right.
I'd cleaned up the aftermath of its wrath
in my yard on more than one occasion
swearing I'd devise a plan to end the nuisance.

One afternoon when I'd seen the bastard on the prowl
I opened the garage door and put some enticing food
towards the back. When the pooch wandered in I snuck
up and closed the garage door. That's when the brilliant
part of my scheme kicked in. Grabbing a safety pin
and the Ziploc bag with the note I'd written in it
I approached the dog slowly and fastened the bag to its collar.
The note inside would reach its owner safely, get the point across:

DEAR OWNER--
PLEASE KEEP YOUR DOG IN YOUR YARD
SINCE YOUR NEIGHBORS ARE TIRED OF CLEANING UP
THE MESS YOUR PET MAKES OF THEIR GARBAGE CANS.
WE JUST MAY ACCIDENTALLY SLIP SOME GROUND-UP GLASS
INTO THE LEFTOVER MEATBALLS SOMETIME SOON.

SINCERELY,
YOUR APPRECIATIVE NEIGHBOR(S)

A shallow threat, of course, though I figured it'd get
the point across. I'd sooner slit my own wrists
again than harm some other animal
just following its gut instinct, but something
had to be done. Figured I was doing the right thing
as per usual, when it hurts them anyway.

I was riding home two weeks later
when I saw a blonde, crumpled mess
on the side of the road
not unlike the ones tangled in my sheets
only this one was on the side of the road.
As I rode by I noticed what it was, saw
the Ziploc bag still intact and pinned to its collar.

I guess it didn't belong to anyone.
It was just a stray looking for a bite to eat
just another one of us scavengers.
I felt bad for two seconds, then relief
came when a song I liked popped on the radio:

"I love another
stranger, just thought
this was the best way
to tell you."

Then I exhaled
threw the butt out the window
and rolled it up
before pulling into my driveway.




Currently reading:
"Player Piano" by Kurt Vonnegut.