Not that I owe anyone an explanation, but...

Because I own three D.A.R.E. T-shirts
that aren't worn ironically like the rest of my Goodwill wardrobe.

Because this is your brain
and +h15 is your brain on drugs, fried eggs be damned.

Because it's the one vice
I can honestly say I've never indulged in.




Because if the people who live here don't do it
then you shouldn't have the nerve to ask.

Because when the people who live here allowed it before
the rules were broken.

Because your car is a smaller space than our garage
so you'll get more bang for your buck in there.

Because our large drunk friends will need those couches
to pass out on at some point during the course of the night.

Because a few good childhood friends became less good and fewer
when they got into that whole scene.

Because I've waited up all night
for someone who was too busy getting high to call.



Because a third cousin became a vegetable
after taking a bad dose.

Because my uncle went to prison for fifteen years
for an atrocious crime committed under that influence.

Because my mother's first husband was a drug dealer
and some of his bad habits rubbed off on her.

Because she started snorting heroin in the Seventies
and kicked the habit when I was conceived.

Because she kicked me out of the house when I was fifteen
after I found her bowl and threw it in the Hudson.

Because she still reeks of weed when I hug her
when I go see her once a week for dinner.




Because it wasn't even three o'clock in the afternoon yet.

Because she was in my room innocently doing her homework
and I was looking forward to coming home to her from work.

Because she knows better but wants to fit in with strangers sometimes.

Because she has good character and will make a good role model.

Because she wants to be a teacher, too.

Because she actually will.

Because I want to help her grade papers in bed at night someday.




Because I may have settled down quite a bit
but my Latin temper can come out when it has to.

Because I'm good at being the asshole who's still right.

Because I know that, and there are no hard feelings
now that y'all know why I stand where I do.