Thirty-Odd-Six.

Rifle season started on Saturday
and the deer have been out
frolicking in fields trying to get theirs
while dodging bullets.
It's a tough game
that probably makes that
hard to acquire piece of doe tail
that much more enjoyable...
for the bucks, I mean.

On my way to class tonight
I witnessed that age-old dance firsthand.
In a desolate field no more than thirty feet away
I spotted an eight-pointer with a wide rack
chasing a doe back and forth.
It was such a National Geographic moment that I
had to stop my truck in the middle of the road to watch.
She'd stop short and cut back in the other direction.
He'd do the same, though not as smoothly
due to his hormone-induced state of arousal
and the mood cast by the setting sun.
I could practically see the drool
dripping from the corners of his mouth
as he tripped over his own feet
in that desperate attempt to land a lay.
A set of headlights in my rearview
prompted me to let up off the brake
and get moving again.
I asked a few other guys at the hall
if they'd seen the display, but none of them had.
I was the only one to witness that failure.
Something told me that poor buck
never got what he was after.
It almost made me feel bad
for all of the venison I'd eaten over the weekend.
Almost.

After settling in for the night I thought
about that rare sight again
and called my adopted father of a coworker.
He's a big hunter
who always supplies my friends and me
with more venison than we know what to do with.
I told him about that chase scene in the field
and he explained it in a way that I hadn't
thought of yet:
"They're in the rut this time of year.
They're like you young guys--
they've only got one thing on their minds
and it drives them crazy to the point
where they're careless and wander out
into fields where guys like me shoot them.
You want some more deer meat?"
My response came quickly as if second nature
and he laughed that harmless old man laugh of his.
"You young bucks are all the same, alright..."

I didn't argue
but I wasn't about to turn down another free meal
on grounds of honor amongst thieves.
That buck should've paid more attention in high school
and found a job with good benefits.
Let's hear it for capitalism's effect on procreation
and man's exploitation of it in the form of a high-powered rifle.
Dig in, folks.
Our freezer's full.