the Tupperware wars.

Here's one for every man who's had a ring thrown back at him
and the poor convict so fat that they laughed and said
they'd have to shoot him for fear his head would pop off
if they tried to hang him in the town square;
insult to injury in an unjust...

...just keep that to yourself, young man.

"Paging Mr. Cockburn. Mr. Cockburn, please dial extension 227..."
Her voice will cut off as suddenly as it came on, things will return
to normal in the warehouse, and good ol' Mr. C won't dare
touch that phone since he'll know his wife will be on the line
asking whose number she found in the hip pocket of his slacks, and
if he's wielding his over-stuffed Vienna sausage elsewhere again.
"Mr. Cockburn, she says you'd better call or she'll mail that package
she's been telling you about for years."
Mr. C will put his head down at his desk, weeping like a schoolgirl
two weeks after prom night when she finds out Johnny didn't mean it.
But Mrs. Cockburn does mean it, and will mail that package
to the proper recipient, thus ruining several lives
and giving her one more reason to get that perm before the holidays.
"Cockburn, you're fired!" will come over the P.A. from his angry supe
but Mr. C won't still be around to hear it.
The things that people do to each other in misnomered love...



My metabolism's slowed since being laid off.
I only feel the need for one meal a day sometimes
since I don't do anything to burn calories
other than roll around in the sheets flipping through pages
though my armpits still sweat as I sit here and type
but that's out of sheer excitement, love for the game.
He probably heard me still stirring at four in the morning
getting that last line down last night.
When it comes you have to go with it, your mind won't
let you sleep until you write it
and that's how you know you should continue
regardless of who's still listening.
If the shirtless sweating in this sixty-degree house stops
then I'll take up collecting baseball cards instead.
Until then it's more of the same to keep me sane.

It's the difference between green squash and zucchini.
(Yeah, me neither.)