This message has been brought to you by all things plaid, and the letter W.

Some nights the tension's so thick
you could slice it with that knife o'yours.
Still not sure how they fall for that schtick.
Glad I don't.
Peanuts! Get your peanuts!
Fresh, salted
peanuts!

Had nightmares that I overslept
got lost on my way to the new job
and somehow wound up at a fishing seminar
being taught by my clumsy old foreman
where he got fish hooks stuck in his lip
and my forearm in a failed casting demonstration.
Must've been writhing in the sheets trying to escape
because I managed to pull the bookshelf
next to my bed over somehow
at two in the morning.
Thought I'd been shot when the crash
woke me up.
Would've been better off that way.

Work went surprisingly well.
The new foreman's like a mall Santa
who uses phrases like "You silly goose!";
needless to say we get along just fine.
The only problem is that Rockland Community College
is in the middle of a strictly residential Hasidic area
so a sandwich or a slice can't be found
within a fifteen minute drive.
Looks like I'll be brown-bagging it
or I'll just go hungry.
Could be worse.
Always can.

I've come to find out that
in a strange twist of fate
my absentee father's married
a Puerto Rican clown from the City.
No, seriously.
I'm too tired to go there just yet.
Hold that thought.

Milk and gas are sold by the gallon.
It's no coincidence that beer and blood
are sold by the pint.
Will you still love me
tomorrow?