He cooks for an army that doesn't exist and says it's for love of the game.

When I first moved in it took some getting used to;
he put the toilet paper roll in the dispenser
backwards, at least according to how I was raised.
Sure, it wasn't a big deal, but I bent before I broke.
Don't tell me I never compromise. That's a lie.

It's amazing how unaccustomed to change the
human race is, even with such a seemingly trivial orientation.
If you don't believe me
move your refrigerator to a new location in your kitchen
assuming that's where you keep it.
You'll be amazed at how many times a day you absent-mindedly
veer off in the wrong direction in search of food or drink
then saunter back around with the hopes that no one noticed.
The neighbors must think I'm dancing in my kitchen at night;
I'm not, I'm just lost.